Stop Thinking You Have an “Ugly” House
I know the feeling: that nagging thought that you can’t help but think your home is ugly and doesn’t measure up to other people’s home.
Although I’m a DIY blogger who does home improvement and furniture makeovers (check out my Project Gallery), I suffer from this “My house is ugly” syndrome, too.
In fact, whenever people come over to my home, I find myself apologizing about this project that sits unfinished….or that part of my house that has dirty walls because the kids drag their hands all over it when walking past.
Over the years since moving into our old 1973 home, it has taken a lot of time for me to finally get to the point where I feel comfortable with my home.
I’m comfortable with it because it’s finally started to feel warm and cozy (after years of living here). But I still find myself apologizing and making excuses and pointing out its faults before other people can.
In fact, in one of my YouTube videos, I did a house tour for readers and viewers and I apologized and tried to explain away all the little piles of clutter and the unfinished projects and mismatched furniture.
You can watch that video below.
(Keep reading for 3 tips to help you stop thinking your house is ugly).
It’s Not Just You: Lots of People Think Their Home is Ugly
Years ago I happened to get an email from a girl who stumbled upon one of my old posts and she wrote me something so poignant:
I just came across your blog a few weeks ago, while searching for photos of rooms painted in Rainwashed. I wanted to tell you how much I like your blog. It’s so refreshing to see a diy/decorating blog featuring a normal looking house, lol!
Seriously though! I live in a 1,700 square foot house, that was built in 1926. It’s easy to feel inadequate seeing blogs with 5,000+ square foot, brand new mini mansions, that look like something straight out of Better Homes and Gardens. I’d much rather read about someone fixing up an older, average home, on a budget!
Her email hit a nerve.
I decided to respond to her email and share why we shouldn’t be comparing our home to others’ homes.
There is still some part of me that feels like my home isn’t good enough, especially considering that working on my house as a blogger is my full-time job!
But her email ignited something inside of me–a desire for us all to STOP crapping on our houses and simply love it and decorate it for what it is: our place of comfort!
I was inspired to create that short video to inspire all of you beautiful homeowners who sometimes feel inadequate about your house, too. We are just the same: women are want to create a pretty, comfortable, yet affordable home for ourselves and our family.
(P.S. You can see how I’ve been working on turning my house into a home with these projects:
- BEFORE & AFTER: My Pretty Lavender Master Bathroom Makeover
- BEFORE & AFTER: My Colorful Half Bathroom Makeover With a Wall Stencil!
- BEFORE & AFTER: My Kid’s Bathroom Makeover
- BEFORE & AFTER: Boys Blue Accent Wall Bedroom
- BEFORE & AFTER: My Pretty Laundry Room Makeover
You Do NOT Have an “Ugly” House: 3 Tips to Stop Complaining About Your House
Okay…..but maybe you do have an outdated house and you want to do a makeover. Doesn’t that sound better? More positive?
“Outdated” sounds like something easily fixable.
“Ugly” just sounds….hopeless!
And we’re all doing such great jobs on making our houses look fabulous for very little money (and so little time, too!). So let’s stop comparing ourselves and our homes to people in the blogosphere okay?
Keep reading below for some tips we can do to change our attitude our house!
(RESOURCE: Check out this post on how to make an “ugly” home look good with easy decorating tips from the pros).
TIP #1: Be thankful you’ve got housing.
When the wind is whipping and I’m rushing up my walkway to get inside, I’m often struck with the thought, “Thank God I have a house!” More than 500,000 people in the U.S. are homeless, according to this report in 2015. Seriously. Why would we complain when we have money to pay for housing??? Thinking about this alarming fact makes me feel idiotic for even thinking my house is ugly.
TIP #2: Make a plan for decorating your home.
We’re all short on time.
I get it.
But if you plan for the projects and room makeovers you want to do, you’d be surprised how much easier it is to get those projects and makeovers done.
I had put together a free Room Makeover Journal packet that you can download by entering your name and email here:
When you create this DIY journal from scrapbook paper, you’ll have a way to track your progress, list your materials needed, and more.
Soon, your house will feel more put together and not quite as “ugly”!
TIP #3: Take “Before” and “After” pictures of your house along the way.
Homes evolve over time, don’t they?
How your home looked 3 years ago is likely nothing like what it looks like today. Maybe you’ve changed the furniture, had the floors done, changed the paint….
And sometimes we forget the evolution and where we started from!
I can tell you–when we started out in this house, we had wallpaper on nearly every vertical surface…outdated brown paneling…and more.
This is what my family room looked like when we moved in: a dreary 70’s brick fireplace, paneling, and wallpaper over the paneling!
BEFORE
I ended up painting my brick fireplace so that it still looked like brick (which lightened up the room tremendously!), removed the paneling, sewed a pair of cute lined DIY curtains, and decorated the house with affordable thrift store furniture.
Because I took pictures along the way and reviewed those old pictures from time to time, it helps to remind me of how far we’ve come in this house.
Suddenly, it doesn’t seem like such an ugly house. Instead, it feels like a home in transition and it helps me to see that we really have made progress!
So be sure to take lots of pictures of your home and your projects and store them on an external hard drive or on Google Drive (or email them to yourself) and every now and then, click through them to see your progress over time. You’ll be shocked and will feel much less likely to say “My house is ugly.”
AFTER
Again, I know how easy is to think “My house is ugly!” But the truth is that we’re blessed to have housing…we’re blessed to have affordable options for making it look good without spending a lot of money (check out these thrift store tips), and if we remind ourselves of how far we’ve come, we might even start loving our house. 🙂
So have you ever told yourself “My house is ugly”? How did you learn to start loving your house? Leave a comment and let’s talk about it!
Download the 5 freebies!
Thrift Diving inspires women to decorate, improve, and maintain their home themselves...using paint, power tools, and thrift stores! Use these 5 printables, checklists, and ebooks to get started!
Hi Serena,
I just finished watching your confession Friday video as well as this one, and I wanted to tell you that you are such an inspiration for me. I’ve had a personal blog for ages but I just started a blog on knitting that I hope will become a source of income in the future. Far, far distant future! It takes a LOT of effort to write blog posts, and while I don’t compare my knitting to other people’s houses, I do compare my work to other people’s knitting. No matter what a blogger’s topic of choice, I think we all tend to look at others’ efforts and think they are better than our own. It’s just human nature.
I love your blog, your creativity, and your energy. The things you have done around your house make me look at my ridiculously small crap shack with an artistic eye, trying to see past the too tiny floor plan, the mismatched windows, the cracks around the door, and the air conditioner in the wrong place. Now I find myself wondering how I can manage some improvement on a budget. Your room challenges and projects give me hope for what I can someday do with this place.
You are amazing and I don’t know how you find the time to interact with your readers as much as you do. You are going to make it, I’m sure.
Hugs, – Carolyn
Thanks so much for making this video. I just had my one year blog anniversary and had written in the post how sometimes I feel my home isn’t good enough after viewing other blogger homes. A commenter left this link for me to check out. In the past few months I have learned to stop comparing my home and to love it for what it is. It is a beautiful home. It is so hard to remember that sometimes when looking at staged homes. I haven’t gotten into staging. I take pictures as it looks so that may be my problem:) anyway I agree with everything you said! Especially the model part. Thank you!
Hey Cara! Congrats on your 1-year blog anniversary! It’s sooo easy to compare your home to other bloggers’ homes. I mean, there are some reeeealllly nice homes out there. And everything on Pinterest looks so professional and magazine-worthy. What I have realized is that sometimes it’s just the quality of the pics. Sometimes it IS that they have an amazing house and talent! But I just did a makeover on my laundry room. The before pics were HORRID! The after pics look really nice, but definitely not magazine-worthy. But I still got a great response. So my advice is to just try to be as good as YOU can be, and don’t worry about what everyone else does. Also, by just showing pics the way you do, it makes you look more down to earth to your readers! They appreciate that more often times!!! 🙂 Thanks for stopping over and sharing your worries!!! 🙂 Stop back again!
OH MY GOSH! I LOVE THIS POST! It’s true that it applies in all areas of your life. My sister had gastric bypass and thinks she’s just SO high and mighty now because for the first time in her life she’s thinner than I am. I personally feel as though a hippo could lose weight on that surgery and I’m not even remotely impressed. She SAYS she’s happy with herself now, but she’s STILL trying to compare the two of us, so she’s obviously NOT happy. I told her that I thought she needed to remove me from her life completely and when she could finally stop comparing us, that we would have a good relationship.
Jealousy just ruins YOURSELF. It never turns out the way you want or expect it to. Don’t be jealous! Love what you have. And if you don’t love what you have, DO something about it!
And I totally agree, we have the same writing style for sure, which is probably why I love you so much. 🙂
Yeah, I think we’re sisters from another mister. HAHAHA. I think we’d probably be cool buddies in real life. 🙂 As for the sister you have now, oh, she’s totally jealous of you. Is it just you and her? I have a similar relationship with my sister, too. When I was pregnant and gained 60 pounds with my first, I heard about it each time. However, she did confess that I still looked good (she might have even said “you still look better than me” or maybe my mind is making that one up. HA!). Anyhow, you just have to ignore it. You look GREAT, and you have a lot going for you, which is why she’s jealous of you. If you want to ease the relationship, throw some compliments her way. I bet she would soak that right up. Sounds like that’s what she needs! 🙂
We are DEFINITELY sisters from another mister. I wish we lived closer because I think you’re right, we’d be best buds for sure. I’m certain of it. My sister was obese our entire lives (She’s 3 years younger) and I was the athletic competitive dancer with good grades and lots of friends. My mom always said she was living in my shadow and she was jealous of me. I never believed it until last week when she blasted me on Facebook saying I was jealous of her because she had lost weight and I was “fat now”. (for the record: I AM overweight, but I gained 100lbs on bed rest with #2 and I’ve taken 60 of it off by eating well and exercising. I’m not what I’d call “fat”.) I couldn’t believe it. I’m not jealous of her, I never have been, and her accusation just made me realize that she HAS always been jealous of me. Compliments from me don’t go over well, so we’ve broken ties, unfortunately. I hope that some day she loves herself enough to love me back, you know? By the same token, I can’t be held responsible for her jealousy. We grew up in the same house and we both had the same childhood. She could have done dance or another sport had she wanted to, but it was easier to be a couch potato and hate me for doing what she WANTED to do.
It sucks, it hurts, but I have to get on with my life and let this teach me a lesson, then move on. It’s always so cool to meet people with similar circumstances. I enjoy hearing how they overcame the situations.
Wow, the fact that she would blast you on FB is cruel! But it’s totally to finally feel like she’s got a leg up on you. Kill her with kindness is what I say. If she knows she’s getting to you, then she has won. Don’t let her get to you. On the flip side, I’ve seen your pics, and you are all-around gorgeous! It’s not easy to live in the shadow of the prettier big sister. I’m sort of thankful all my boys are on the same level looks-wise so there should be no jealousy on that end! LOL
Y
You make me BLUSH! 🙂 🙂 🙂 I have only one girl and I’m SO, SO glad that she doesn’t have any sisters. My boys are so far apart in age. My eldest has a large port wine stain on his face but he’s handsome and very funny. The youngest boy is the cutest thing on earth and Ohsocharming. They are completely different creatures but I think because of their age difference, they will be fine. And it might be said that since the eldest is a genius, he won’t care if the younger one IS cuter than he is, because he’ll be rollin’ in dough. 🙂
Next time I’m in DC we’ll have to hook up!
Great post! Why do we have this obsession with being perfect, that no one can see our flaws, our messes, our mistakes? I was scrolling through my Instagram feed the other day, and stopped at a picture of a someone’s office. She was complaining about how messy it was, and how she was using that picture to hold herself accountable for organizing and cleaning it. And yet it was a beautiful room; yes, the desk had a few stacks of papers on it, but I digress…
Yet another person I follow was up at arms over the mess in her sparkling clean suv: one of her son’s shoes, a spare set of toddler clothes, her daily planner…really??? You get frustrated over THAT???
Would I love a spotlessly clean house? Sure. Is it ever going to be that way? Nope. I want to live my life and enjoy it. Here’s to living in the moment and not worrying about the little stuff!!!
By the way, I found you through Thistlewood Farm. Love your blog!
Joy, sorry for responding so late! Love your comment! Yeah, some people just don’t see what other people see. It’s sad, really, but I guess it’s all relative to how they were raised, maybe. But it sounds like those people have no idea what a real mess looks like. They should come have a look at my minivan! I”m sure there are some fries wedged down in the seat from, like, 6 months ago 😉
Thank you so much for commenting, and I hope to see you here more often! Tell Karianne I said hi! She’s great, isn’t she?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-MEN ! ! ! ! ! I agree wholeheartedly. DO NOT COMPARE!!! Whether its homes.houses, husbands, kids, furniture, tastes.and on and on and on. BE yourself, enjoy what you have and who you are and did I say, DO NOT COMPARE.? Our first home was definitely a fixer upper O BOY! ! When we went to sign the papers on it the first thing the man at the bank said when he saw us was, “You can’t buy that home for her.” . (I was only 18). My husbands comment was “Give me those papers.” It took us exactly 11 years, 9 months andddd – oh, I forgot how many days……before we could say DONE! Of course by that time we needed to repaint , repair, update. BUT it was O U R home – no one elses….Y E S S S ! ! ! And now 55 years later we are in a new home – sold my husband on it by saying, “the walls are the color I want, the carpeting is the color I want, no repairs, just adding our touches………. We are now in our mid 70’s and soooooooo enjoying where the LORD has placed us.
I enjoy seeing other people’s homes so blogging I do……..I found you through Karianne’s Thislewood.
Jean McGee
Hey Jean! Love your comment! And that’s pretty awesome that you were able to turn your previous home around like that! OMG, 11 years?!?! So I shouldn’t be too concerned that we’ve been here for 3, and we still have two rooms with original wallpaper and oh– a walk-in closet in our bedroom with wallpaper. 🙂 Great to know that it’s normal to take time. I have told myself that when we’re older (I’m 36 now) we will be in a totally brand-spanking new won’t-need-to-touch-a-THING type of place. But for now, it’s all DIY! 🙂 Thank you so much for talking the time to write such a thoughtful comment! I truly appreciate it, and I look forward to seeing you around here. Thanks!
Such great advice. We need to be content with what we have and willing to do what is necessary to make it better. To put our own “stamp” on it. Having an attitude of gratitude is so important.
I couldn’t agree with you more, Norma! It took a lot for us to get this house. We were pretty lucky to have been able to buy in a time (back in 2010) when most people couldn’t sell. We sold our condo and it then found this place. I did underestimate the amount of time and work and money it would take to fix it up, but I love this stuff! 🙂 Thanks for commenting! 🙂
Great video! I popped over from Facebook – you have a new follower in Me!! I feel this way all the time…I strive to do ‘great things” to try and keep up with those big bloggers with big budgets..no more! My home is enough and if no one follows my blog that’s ok with me! Thanks for this!
Well, you don’t have to worry, I will follow your blog! 🙂 I’m one of the DIY Underdogs, so I must look out for my fellow puppy 🙂 Yeah, I can’t keep up with bloggers whose homes always look so stunning. So I try to do my own ‘thang and try to support and represent the “average DIY’er” that just wants to get the outdated wallpaper off their wall! LOL Thanks for stopping by, and thanks even more for commenting!
I came here from Thistlekeeping, and I was first stunned by how much your house looks like my house on the outside. Ours was built in the early 1970’s too. Your video is right on too. It’s so easy to compare one’s house to all the gorgeous houses online.
I try to look online to find ideas and inspiration for the space and possessions that I already have. I have been fortunate enough to be able to have updating done to our downstairs, and I am really happy with those changes, but it’s also fun to work with what you have and make it your own style on a budget.
I am looking forward to exploring your blog.
Hey there, Brenda! Thanks for stopping over from Thristlekeeping! Karianne is great, isn’t she?! I met her at a blogging conference (Haven) last summer and she was so cute. Anyhow, that’s awesome your house looks like mine! I don’t see anyone’s house that looks like mine! There are 2 others in my neighborhood, but other than those, my house is a pretty unique style. Do you have many homes in your area like this? Mine was build in 1973. You’re lucky to have had some updates upstairs. I haven’t yet put a “home tour” on this blog because, well, it won’t really be a tour–more like a “Look what we haven’t done yet!” type of tour. LOL. But I’m working on it! Thanks so much for stopping over and taking the time to comment. I really appreciate it, and I look forward to seeing you around more! 🙂
Awesome thoughts and attitude Serena! My ten year old nephew and I started a little project called Some See A Weed. We named it that because he’s a great photographer, and he took a nice photo of a dandelion and its just beautiful. But some people just see the weed. Same with old furniture etc. we rescue it from curbs, yard sales and fix it up. Really fun. And shows not everything beautiful needs to cost a lot. We just fixed up the most cool bike that was headed for the dump…it WAS in a dumpster! Our pics are on FB as some see a weed. ❤️Mimi
Mimi, that sounds like a great project! And for him to be so young, he sounds like an old soul. I think it’s a great lesson for kids to know that just because something is a weed, or an old piece of furniture and is supposed to be “inferior” doesn’t make it so. At least, that’s the lesson I hope that I am teaching my 3 young boys, just as you’re teaching your nephew. I’m going to go look you up on FB! Thanks for sharing, and of course, for taking the time to comment!! 🙂