How to Get Kids to Listen, Limit Electronics, and Get Ungrounded
Getting kids to listen and follow directions is one of the hardest parts of parenting. But I have developed a behavior chart out called “The Penny Method” that works like a charm to get kids to listen, limits their electronics time, and allows me to get ungrounded.
Watch the Video: How to Get Kids to Listen and Limit Electronics
I used to struggle a lot with “Mom Guilt.”
I remember when I used to be a patient mom. I’d talk sweetly to my kids, I wouldn’t fuss at them, and I didn’t tell them to “go away” when they “interrupted” me.
But life had gotten sooo busy, and I started letting my kids watch more and more electronics, letting YouTube babysit the sweet boys that I should have been nurturing.
Instead, they’d get hours and hours of screen time, especially over this past summer. It’s a wonder their brains didn’t turn to mush! (Click here to see just how damaging excess screen time is for young kids!!).
And when they wouldn’t listen, my stress levels exploded, as did my voice.
I’m not proud to admit it. But at least I’m brave enough to take responsibility and “Mom” enough to know when it’s time to make a change.
I knew that we needed a major overhaul in this household, with lots of structure and guidelines, and it was going to be up to me to make it happen.
Plus, I missed seeing my little boys (ages 10, 6, and 4) being kids! Those days when they’d play nicely with each other, build LEGOS, and build forts from the sofa cushions. I didn’t want those days lost forever.
So I put my DIY skillz to good use with this DIY project.
Let me introduce you to The Penny Method. 🙂
Bye-bye, Mom Guilt! Hello, happy home!
How to Get Kids to Listen (Plus, Limit their Electronics, and Unground Them)
I had downloaded this awesome checklist from COIT.com for parents to unground their kids (update: Feb 2019, I checked online for the checklist and it looks like COIT removed the checklist from their website, unfortunately!).
It reminded me of the behavior system I used to do with my boys a couple years ago called The Penny Method.
This checklist along with a recent conversation with a friend was just the catalysts I needed to start up The Penny Method again to get my kids to listen better, to limit their electronics, and to teach them about responsible (and may accountability, too?).
We needed some structure again!
(And I couldn’t stand the mom guilt of getting frustrated with my kids and plopping them in front of screens for hours!).
So here’s what you need to make your own Penny Board to get your kids to listen, to limit their electronics, and to get them ungrounded when they misbehave!
How the Penny Method Works!
Before I get into how to make a penny board and checklist, let me explain to you how The Penny Method works. Trust me–your kids won’t know what hit ’em!
- Give each kid 5 pennies every day to hang on the penny board.
- If they have good behavior–great! They get to keep their pennies all day. If they misbehave, don’t listen, hit their brother, etc., they lose a penny for each bad behavior.
- At the end of the day, they get to use their remaining pennies to “buy” electronics time. They can use a max of three pennies for 1 hour (essentially, 20 minutes for each penny).
- They may use 1-2 pennies per day for a special treat (lollipop or some other treat).
- If they want to save up their pennies for a special treat, like going to the movies or something, they can save them in the “Bank” section. But by saving up their pennies, that means they’d have to forego buying daily electronics time or treats. It’s up to them to keep their pennies and decide what to do with them. Pretty “tricky” parenting, huh? 😉
You could easily substitute the pennies for quarters, dimes, nickels–heck, even dollars, for older kids! But the pennies have always worked well for my kids and they’re familiar with using pennies.
But the concept is the same:
You must have good behavior in order to “buy” your favorite things and favorite activities. And if you choose to, you can save up your pennies in order to “buy” other favorite activities, like a trip to the movies, having friends over, etc. But by saving up your pennies, it means they may not be able to have their daily electronics time, etc. They have to “budget” how they spend their pennies. But watch out! They better have good behavior or else they can lose those pennies!
What Happens When They Lose Pennies?
Well….no pennies, no electronics.
No pennies, no treats.
No money, can’t buy nothin‘.
But here’s where it gets interesting.
Using the COIT checklist for “How to Get Ungrounded” the kids can check off chores on the list to earn back pennies!
One chore equals one penny earned back.
If your kid needs 3 pennies to play 1 hour of video games, well, then they’ll be cleaning toilets, taking out the trash, and whatever else on this cool checklist! 🙂
The checklist has everything from bedroom chores….bathroom chores…and much more.
I’ve got mine framed and hanging under the penny board so the kids know that there are the things they may get the opportunity to pick from if they don’t have any pennies at the end of the day.
And you know kids…..they hate doing chores, for the most part! LOL
The most magical thing happens: they listen.
The system works, my friends!!
So now that you understand the concept, here’s how you make your own penny board for The Penny Method!
Go Grab These Materials
(I participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for me to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites).
- COIT Get Ungrounded Checklist (unfortunately, the checklist is no longer available online, so you may have to recreate it yourself using the copy you see above.)
- Magnetic SPONTAN board from Ikea
- Alphabet stickers or stencils
- Shiny pennies
- Magnets
- Glue gun
- Washi tape
- Thrifted picture frame (or you can make your own DIY picture frame with my tutorial here)
First, create a similar “ungrounded” checklist like this:
I had found a thrifted frame for a few bucks at my favorite thrift store.
My goal was to keep a clean copy in the frame. You’ve seen those Pinterest crafts where you can make an erase board from a picture frame, right?
(You can also use a thermal laminator so you can write on it and easily erase).
With the printable inside, I can use dry erase markers to check off the chores for kids to do.
Next, use the SPONTAN magnetic board from IKEA, or some other metal, and add your kids’ names to the top. You should also add a title called The Penny Board.
I added my own name because you know Mommies need structure and discipline, too, right?! 😉
Down the left side, add the following:
- Earned
- Spent
- Lost
- Bank
It should look similar to this:
You’ll want to pull your glue gun out for this! 🙂
I didn’t want yucky old pennies, so I picked out the shiny, pretty ones from my money jar.
I know….I know….we shouldn’t “deface” our nation’s money, but for the sake of kids who listen, we can make this one exception, right?? 😉 Plus, if you pull hard enough, the glue will come off. No harm done.
I put a dab of hot glue on each magnet. But you have to make sure you glue the magnet on quickly or else the glue dries sooo fast! Then you’ll have lopsided magnet pennies. 🙂
Press it for a second and it should stick instantly!
I did about 25 pennies since each kid will need 5. It’s good to have some extras on hand.
Using the washi tape, I created sections on the penny board.
With the sections, I can add pennies to each person’s section each morning (we just reuse the same pennies). Each day, move all the pennies get moved up to the “Earned” box (but you’ll need extras if your kid is saving up for something special in the “Bank”).
The morning I snapped this picture, you can see that one of my sons was already starting off on the wrong foot! :). He had started that morning off badly and hubby took away all of his pennies and wouldn’t let him earn them back!
The next day, my son learned that he better tread carefully, because those pennies are too precious to lose since they translate into electronics time, snacks, and whatever other treats he’s looking for!
I can’t begin to tell you how relieved I feel now that we’re doing The Penny Method again (with a new and improved penny board!).
Now….I don’t just let my kids sit mindlessly on electronics. They can “buy” one hour, and then that’s it. The timer goes off and they’re done.
Now….I don’t have to scream and shout to get them to do what I ask. I simply ask….ask once more….then threaten to take a penny away. And boy, they move their butts fast!! 🙂
It’s amazing how just having a system in place makes everything parenting soooooo much easier (and it’s healthier for them, too!).
A Few Fun Ideas to Entertain Kids Without Money
And when you want your kids to have a little fun without electronics, here are a few quick ideas:
Fun Idea #1 – Play Mushroom With a Fitted Bed Sheet
Spread a bedsheet over your bed on laundry day and trap the air inside. Let kids jump on it. We made this game up and the kids love it!
Here’s a short clip of us playing “Mushroom.”
Fun Idea #2: Give them a roll of tape.
Kids are super creative. Give them a roll of tape and not only will they make new costumes, but they’ll entertain themselves. I also find that kids love junk drawers. Just make sure there isn’t anything unsafe in your junk drawer. 🙂
Fun Idea #3: Have fun with old CDs.
Music is digital now, right? CDs are obsolete. Why not give the kids a few CDs and let them make rainbows on the ceilings and walls?
Do you have kids? How do you get your kids to listen? Do they spend too much time on electronics, too?
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I love this idea. As a teacher, you’d think I’d be able to come up with different strategies for behavior management with my own children but you’d be wrong!! My 2 youngest children are capable of more mischief than my classroom full of 23 five and six year olds. I searched for something that could work at home. I used your idea but added a few tweaks. Along with the normal household chores on your list I’ve added a section titled Mind & Body. This section has things like write a letter to a friend or family member, address it, and send, creative activity, science activity/experiment, physical activity, reading/writing activity, math activity, and contribution to our community. I have a separate list with tons of activities to go along with each category that I choose from. This way maybe I can keep their brains working during the summer. I also incorporated dimes, nickels, and quarters. This way, if they’re saving their money for a larger prize we dont end up with 50+ pennies in the bank taking up the entire board. 2 quarters can take the place of 50 pennies and 10 pennies for a dime and so on. So now I’m incorporating math skills.
I do need advice on the prizes. What amounts did you set the prizes that have to be earned over time? I understand how to price electronics time along with small daily rewards but how much do you typically make them save for the larger activities such as going to the movies or a day out with mom, etc. I’m including prizes that will vary from small, medium, large, and extravagant. Small would be something like making slime. Medium would be something like a redbox movie rental or a playdate. Large would be going fishing with dad or getting your nails painted at the nail salon. Extravagant would be something like a date with mom to the movies, bowling, sky zone, or chuck e cheese. My list of rewards seems like a lot, but it’s a combined list of rewards suited for each of my children. What I mean is my 13 year old isn’t interested in going fishing, making slime, or having a playdate whereas my 10 year old son loves to fish, my 6 year old daughter begs to have her friends over, and both my 6 and 10 year old love making slime and ooblek. I know I’m really rambling but if you could offer any advice on amounts that would really help. I’m afraid of setting the amounts too low and having trips to chuck e cheese in a week, or setting them too high and a trip to the nail salon takes 6 months. Thanks so much for your time and wonderful idea. I’ll be putting this to the test in about 2 days. Fingers crossed.
Could someone please help me out !!! I like the ideas for this but kinda don’t know where to start ? My brain is not functioning right I have a newborn and a four and two year that are being so bad I just want to lock myself in a room and hide I have total mom quilt !!! I need to figure out something so I can get control back over my house and my childrens behavior! Please and thank
If the kids want to bank their pennies to save up for a big prize like a one on one with mom and dad, how do we go about doing that? Do we make more pennies with magnets on them or do they make a note and add their daily amounts of how many penny’s they banked that day?
Hi Brooke! I would recommend you make up more pennies. If you start to run out of space, store them on the fridge! 🙂 I like the idea of the kids actually seeing the pennies! Good luck!
Hi, I really like your penny system, and will probably be using it. But I have a question, what happens when they have lost all there pennies for the day and there is still half a day left and they are continuing to be bad. But there are no more pennies to take away. Then what do you do?
Hi. I love this method and am setting down to work on it right now. I want to know how many pennies do they have to earn to have a friend spend the night or go to the movies or even get a toy at a store?
Serena, this is a great idea! I like the structure that’s involved with this chart. It’s great that it teaches kids actions have consequences.
Thanks, Keri! You said it! The best part is that it helps to structure ME to stick with the rules. Otherwise, I end up letting my kids sit for hours just because I want them out of my hair when I’m busy or need to focus. Oh, and the best part?? I’ve started letting them earn “extra” pennies by folding laundry! I can’t tell you how many loads of clothes I haven’t had to fold because the kids have done it to earn extra computer time! HA! The first time, they were like, “Aw, come on, Mommy!” But now, they’re like, “Ooh, can we fold clothes for pennies??” Seriously. BEST.THING.EVER! 🙂 lol
What a great idea Serena. I also had that problem with my kids but they are too old to listen to me now. Where were you when I needed this method? Lol ! Of course, we as parents have to model good behavior and being a blogger who is in front of the screen all day is not the best example. I think your method works because kids love these types of systems. Good lucks and enjoy the time you have with them, they will have flown the coop before you know it.
You are so right, Mary! I mean, we adults can’t even go to the bathroom without our electronic devices, so how can we expect kids to act any differently, you know? LOL And don’t remind me how quickly time is going! I can practically see them as men if I look too closely at them! NOOOO!!! lol
Such a great idea! I need this just for myself.
LOL, Haley, I know! That’s why I added myself! If I drink a glass of wine, I get to use one of my pennies. 🙂 I’m actually thinking I need to tie my pennies to things I need to get done, like getting my blog posts done, getting my planning sessions done each week…and if I get things done, I earn treats, like Netflix time! Hmmm….maybe there’s something to this penny method for adults…. 🙂
I LOVE your idea Serena! And so happy to hear that it’s effective too! I never had kids, but a friend of mine from church told how she had a nice dinner with interaction from grandkids instead of everyone gazing at the cell phone. The moment everyone came in the door, Grandma had her hand out where each person had to deposit their phone. Then at the end of the visit, they got the phones back. I thought this was such a neat idea b/c cell phones are a huge time and interaction suck, just like electronics with your kids.
Hey there, Florence! Smart woman, your friend! I once heard something similar, too. When out to dinner with friend, everyone must put their cell phones in the center of the table. First one to touch their phone has to pay for the entire meal! HA!!! Don’t you love it? I try not to use my phone at the dinner table. Hubby’s not so good about it. I don’t like that we turn into zombies and just scroll, scroll, scroll! 🙂 Thanks for chiming in, Florence!!
Your method sounds like it will work well. My kids when younger decided i was probably the meanest mom ever. We had electronic games and it took me no time to realize i hated the time it took away from productive things. So, I came up with the trade off. I feel very strongly about kids reading. Therefore, I decided for every minute you read you earn one minute of game time. They quickly learned that I had no problems quizzing them on what the just read to get their time. It worked beautifully. I also pushed them out the door to play, at times I regretted encouraging them to explore and I’m sure some of my great hair came from that! Mine also quickly learned that fighting, back talk and other offenses could and did earn everything from washing baseboards to writing complex sentences on their offense. I had two very headstrong boys and found these things so very effective. They tell me these days that they are happy I was tough because it taught them responsibility and actions vs consequence. Not saying it made them perfect by any means but it did make them respect others, themselves, boundaries and better students.
Hey, Mary! Wow…..that’s such a great idea: 1 minute of reading for 1 minute of electronics time! Someone else was just telling me that recently that they did that with their kids. I can’t remember who it was, but I was also saying, Hmmmm….what a great idea. I think I may have to set a new rule: the kids can earn extra pennies by doing 30 – 60 minutes of reading. Yes! Thank you for that idea!
I was going to ask you how your boys turned out, and it sounds like you did an amazing job! The problem today is that parents don’t want to be tough. Parents are so busy that we just want the kids out of our hair. But we really have to put our busy schedules aside and make time for our most important jobs: raising our kids!
Thanks for commenting, Mary!
I love your idea too Mary! My mother was strict with me as I was growing up, and I appreciate it now b/c it made me more responsible. She also made us work in the house or yard. When I was growing up, parents were paying their children to do chores, but my mom said it was my contribution to the household for being provided for, which is so true. I love that you made them wash baseboards for backtalk!
Children today don’t know the meaning of real work! It’s a shame. I do have my boys clean on the weekends (Saturdays are upstairs and Sunday is main level). They’re getting the routine now, but it’s still nothing like what I was doing at 6. I was doing dishes at 6!!! LOL Scrubbing pots and pans. Wasn’t no allowance. You did it just because you had to or you’d get your butt whipped!
I need to do this instead of a chart that I laminated. Wow, girl between the movie box and this you are on a roll. LOL, thank you for sharing last weekend at the Dishing it and Digging it link party. We all loved your movie box so much we had to feature it this week. Have a great week.
Awww….thank you, Vanessa!! I saw the share and commented! Wow, that’s awesome! And yes, you can easily make this. What are you doing with the laminated chart? What’s your method? How old are your kids?