Why We Should Stop Asking “Does This Spark Joy?” – My Aha Moment.
You may have been living under a rock if you haven’t heard of Marie Kondo. She’s the cute, petite woman who’s been popping into people’s cluttered, messy homes for the past month on Netflix (longer, if you’ve read her book, The Magic of Tidying Up) encouraging people to ask, “Does this spark joy?” before deciding whether or not something is worth keeping or getting rid of.
My readers and I who just finished up our 30-Day “Junk-Free January” Room Makeover Challenge have been asking ourselves this question a lot lately (which is why you may not have seen new projects from me recently–I’ve been too busy re-doing my basement. You’ll see our room makeover reveals later this week!). As we sorted through piles of junk, unused craft materials, and “someday” DIY projects, we attempted to get rid of things that no longer made us “happy” or “sparked joy.”
During the challenge, a poignant blog post was published from The Guardian criticizing Marie Condo’s advice and beliefs. Gasp!! Criticizing?? Who could ever think that tidying up your home was a negative thing?? However, the author points out that this method of just getting rid of things that don’t spark joy anymore means that discarded items ultimately end up in landfills (yep–even if you donated it, it may very well be trashed by the thrift store since they only sell a portion of what is donated) and third world countries. The resources used to produce it get wasted, too–the water, the energy, the labor, etc.; all the things we don’t seem to think about as consumers.
Essentially, the author of the article claimed we’re promoting a “disposable” culture if we simply get rid of things that no longer make us happy. The solution, she claims, is to stop buying so much stuff, not getting rid of things.
I read the article and thought, “Yeah, I can see her point…but I still can’t have all this unused clutter sitting around! It’s got to go somewhere!”
If you don’t believe me, look at what I was up against in my basement office for our January Room Makeover challenge: messy, cluttered, and in my opinion, an excess of stuff.
BEFORE
Some of it just needed better organization. But there were clearly pieces that needed to go because they “no longer sparked joy” for me.
BEFORE
What you may not notice is that little red mid-century modern table amongst the clutter. It’s the very first piece of furniture I bought back in 2002 after buying my first condo. I bought it from one of my favorite thrift stores for a mere $6.00. I remember spray painting the brown laminate top a brilliant red, proud to have found such a gem. While I was very proud of the piece, it never seemed to quite “go” with anything in my house the last 10 years of the 17 years I owned it.
But it was time to let it go. After all, Marie said that if it doesn’t spark joy, just let it go. Despite its sentimental value. Despite how cool it was. Despite the memories of my middle son, at the age of 2, climbing up on it and falling off, landing in Urgent Care with 2 stitches to his ear. Despite all the coolness, the memories, and the perceived value of a mid-century modern table like that, I was prepared to let it go because it didn’t pass the test of, “Does this spark joy?”
My husband has a way of sifting through my “DONATION” piles to see what he can salvage. As much as he complains about me bringing too many things home, he is also quick to complain when perfectly good things are given away (which makes decluttering difficult at times!). Well, he peered through my donation piles to see the little red table about to go to the thrift store. He pulled it out, took it upstairs to the family room, and placed it in some random corner of the room, advising me to, “Just keep it. You never know when you might need a table to set some drinks on.”
Fast forward a couple weeks later to the end of the room makeover challenge and my basement was coming along, looking cozy, clean, and decluttered. I realized that I needed a side table for the love seat and chair seating area I had created after all that clutter was removed. It didn’t make sense to go and buy another one, so I lugged that little red table back to the basement, slapped a new complimentary coat of paint on top to go with my new color scheme (and I’ll admit–a new lamp from Target), and what do you know–it sparked joy again!
AFTER!
I shouldn’t be shocked at this concept of making something new again. After all, that’s what I do here at Thrift Diving. The uglier, the better is my motto. Decorating your home on a budget and reusing what you can was the basis of how this blog started. But even I am a victim of consumerism. Just because I tend to go thrift diving for many of my furniture items, doesn’t mean my consumerism is better than the next person. What matters is that I was going to buy something else that sparked more joy; something that “matched better” to my basement office for the room makeover I was doing. I was going to discard something because just because it didn’t spark joy anymore. And that, my friend, was the wrong thing to do.
Just imagine how many pieces of furniture that someone discarded because it no longer sparked joy for them…pieces that I picked up from the thrift store and made them look amazing again. Do you think if the donators had imagined their piece of furniture could spark joy again that they would have given it up? Maybe not.
….like this $10 French Provincial vanity from the thrift store that I made over…
….or this $30 mid-century modern dresser that I stripped and refinished!…
One of my readers pointed out something great: it’s not about asking, “Does this spark joy?” but rather, “How can I reclaim the joy?”
I’d like to take that question even further with these questions:
- “If I paint or stain this a different color, would this spark joy again?”
- “Could I use this in another part of my house?”
- “Could I repurpose this into something else?” (Read this article to get some creative ideas!).
- “Would this spark joy for a friend or family member instead?”
- “Could I sell this to someone?”
- “Could I list this item for FREE online?”
If we ask ourselves these more detailed questions instead of just asking, “Does this spark joy?” then we could save ourselves a lot of money (by reusing what we have)…do more for the planet (which prevents overfilling landfills)…and making more mindful purchases from the beginning!
I’ll admit that even as much as I love making things over, asking myself these questions won’t stop me from ever making another purchase again. And it won’t stop me from donating to my favorite thrift store (which does help the communities the thrift store supports). But it does make me pause to think about each purchase and whether I really need to bring that home with me or if I can reuse something that’s already in my home.
The author of that article is right: if we just learn to buy less stuff anyhow, maybe we wouldn’t even have to declutter and ask ourselves, “Does this spark joy?”
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And if you enjoyed this article, check out popular furniture makeovers:
- $10 French Provincial Vanity Makeover from the Thrift Store
- Mid Century Modern Dresser Makeover Stripped and Refinished
- Eat-in Kitchen Table Makeover: BEFORE & AFTER
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Serena, thank-you for the wonderful article. As a 67 year old lady that has been trying to “down size”, I have been having guilty feelings about not living a more austere existence. I just cannot do it. Beautiful things improve my quality of life and each one has a story. I think everyone needs to find what is comfortable for them.
You do such beautiful work and are an inspiration to us all. Thanks for wring your blog.
XXOO Donna L
Ahhh….another great perspective, Donna! And I think that is fair to say: if you love your beautiful things and they make your life happier, then appreciate those things. I do love the way Marie Kondo has people display their beloved, joy-sparking belongings. For example, in one episode, there was a family that loved their collection of wooden dolls. She didn’t tell them to get rid of it. THEY decided they loved them and as a result, they were able to set the collection up in the garage for display. That was awesome! So yes, whatever you love, love it and be sure to display it so you can enjoy it daily! 🙂 Thanks, Donna, for the awesome comment.
OMG, Serena, I have missed you so much!
This post is so timely as we just had a pipe break in our slab on Christmas day causing major water damage to our house and everything had to be moved out of the house and put into pods.
We have so much stuff that all I have been able to think about is how much I don’t want to bring back in, lol.
The problem is that most of it is my work equipment, so that won’t work. So, when you mentioned better organization, it hit me right up side the head, of course!
I will build storage units/shelving/drawers to store my stuff instead of having the horrific mess that it usually is. I know my Mom will really appreciate it and I will too.
I have to work inside the house (refinishing furniture) so that I can keep an eye on my Mom since I am her primary caregiver and she likes to watch, but it does make a mess.
Having it organized will really help, Thanks!
Hey, Wendy! I’m sorry I have been gone for so long! It’s hard to work on projects AND have time to keep the blog and YouTube channel going in between. So sorry to hear about your pipe bursting!! 🙁 I think this unfortunate event will help you decide what to bring back and what doesn’t need to stay. Hope you can find places for all the things that won’t be coming back! 🙂
Hello, from your description of the item it seems it did spark joy. You just didn’t like the colour. You of all people should have seen that as an opportunity to change it’s colour. It is a nice little table. I don’t think she is the issue of filling landfills. I don’t think she is saying get rid of it so you can buy more. She is saying have a home for all your things. If you bring more in will it have a home and be pleasing to look at? Just saying.
Hey Cindy! It wasn’t just the color. It was the style, too. I felt guilty for wanting to get rid of it (since it was my first thrifted find). And I felt like it was a valuable table from a mid-century model standpoint. But when I asked if it sparked joy, it really didn’t. I didn’t think it would even go with the outdoor wicker furniture I was using in the basement so I was just going to get rid of it. It wasn’t just the color. But somehow, once it was painted and I saw how stunning it really DID fit, especially with the right lamp and faux plant, it hit me–I was THISCLOSE to being wasteful for no reason, just because it didn’t spark joy. And you’re right–I get that Marie Kondo is inspiring people to love and honor and appreciate our beloved things, not to fill landfills and buy more. But what I’m saying is that by just being quick to get rid of something for the sake of decluttering, we inadvertently create unnecessary waste and expense. Thanks for commenting! 🙂
My thrift-store-deal-finding friends are all loving the Marie Kondo movement. They’ve found some great stuff that didn’t inspire joy in the original owner that makes them ridiculously happy. 🙂
HAHA! I know! I saw an article recently that said thrift stores are killing it right now! LOL
Serena,
What I take away from Marie Kondo is to declutter and THEN buy less stuff. I think they go hand in hand so you don’t end up in the same situation.
However- you are SO right to add your questions! Just because you’ve decided that an item doesn’t currently spark joy for you, doesn’t mean it won’t for someone else, or that it won’t be wonderful again in a different form or finish.
I love the idea of posting items for free on Freecycle or TrashNothing. I have received items on these sites that DO spark joy for me, and I’m so grateful that the owners thought to share them! I am getting ready to do a major cleanout in my house, and will sell what I can, and give away quite a bit. Trash is for unusable items, and a last resort.
Thanks for giving us more to think about!
Yes, Melanie! I agree with you. I know where Marie is coming from, for sure. I read her book and found her method of folding transformational. After nearly 2.5 years, I STILL fold my clothing in little packages and stack them side to side. 🙂 I loved her “spark joy” advice. But after my own experience, and reading the Guardian criticism, it made me realize that only asking, “Does this spark joy?” makes it so easy to just “get rid of” instead of “repurpose, repaint, regift, reuse, recycle” and any other “re” you can think of. LOL. But I do know that some of us truly DO need to clutter. But you’re right–we have to learn to then buy less stuff so that we don’t create a negative cycle of buy-donate-buy-donate. Thanks for commenting!
What a fabulous article Serena. As something of a hoarder, I’ve always been very suspicious of the decluttering industry. I completely agree that “does it spark joy” isn’t the only question we should ask. It’s rarely that simple. In a ideal world, we all need what your husband provided for you – a little time-out step, where things we think don’t spark joy can go until we are sure. I have got rid of things that I really, really shouldn’t have let go and I did that because I only asked myself once and didn’t take into account my mood for the day or what else was going on in my world. Yes, declutter if you need to, yes ask if you do still get joy from something – but wait and ask yourself again on a different day and in a different mood, just to make sure that it’s really what you want to do.
Oooh, what a thoughtful response, Suzie! I once heard something similar–this idea of putting things in a box for a few months (things that you want to get rid of), and if you don’t open that box for the items, then you simply get rid of them (donate). I think you are on to something. The only problem is where to store those items in the meantime. HA! I know for me, I just wanted the table “gone” and out of the space, and by hubby taking it to another part of the house, he did just that for me–made it “gone”…..until I wanted and needed it a couple weeks later. I like this idea you suggest: ask….wait….then ask again. 🙂 Thanks, Suzie!
I absolutely agree. As much as I respect Marie Kondo and her methods, we must also consider the over consumerism caused by mass media. Trends are fun, but when you see perfectly good stuff just discarded in landfills society as a whole is not honouring the planet who gave us those precious resources and the human resources (likely underpaid citizens in developing nations) necessary so we could benefit. Responsible consumerism means buy locally, buy carefully and buy informed. Know where the stuff is coming from and be invested in keeping it as long as you need it. My daughter and I enjoy hosting ‘exchanges’ where our friends bring stuff they no longer have use for and we trade. It’s so cool what people take away with them and it gives me great pleasure in knowing that my once needed and loved possession is ‘sparking joy’ for someone else. I love seeing your posts, Serena, as they inspire me to create, exchange and find ways to repurpose without putting pressure on the planet.
Lana, that’s a fun idea! How often do you host these exchanges? I have heard of people have clothing swaps, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard of people doing furniture swaps. But isn’t that a great idea! I am even thinking that a furniture swap for the neighborhood would be great. Like, everyone on the street come together and swap and whatever is left after the swap, gets donated! You’ve got my mind thinking now…. 🙂 Thanks for this idea!
I just bookmarked your blog entry. It is worth keeping, your words of wisdom. You see, YOUR questions require work, effort, and though. Just throwing somethng away because it does not “spark joy” is mindless and easy and implies that you have the “means” to spend more to replace it. It does not make sense. Thank you for putting this new way of looking at something in black and white!
Thanks, Sherry! You said it correct: asking if something “sparks joy” and not asking further questions is too easy. Instead of it being a YES/NO question, it should be like a flow chart: if the answer is NO, then a series of follow-up questions must follow, and as you mention, more work and effort. Thanks for pointing this out! 🙂
Great article. As an organization enthusiast myself, I simply cannot get into tossing things just because I may have become bored with it or because it may not be the current trend. I am careful about purchasing furniture items. Why buy when you can paint or gel stain? 🙂 My downfall and the area where I must make better decisions is the area of craft supplies. I think I can use them all and they get home with me and simply sit. Not a good look for the person who preaches organization on her blog and Youtube channel, I will admit, but we are all a work in progress. Loved the different prospective in your article. TFS.
You bring up a good point about CRAFT materials! I am HORRIBLE in this category, too. Just yesterday I was helping my middle schooler with a science project and we needed to spray paint something black. I grabbed a can half full, only to realized that because I hadn’t cleared the tube properly when I was finished it months ago, it no longer sprayed. I grabbed another black….it, too, was half full but didn’t spray because the nozzle was also clogged. It made me feel so wasteful that I treated the materials like they weren’t important and now, 2 half-full cans will have to be trashed (not including all the other ones that are likely clogged). Going forward, I must do better! We must all do better. Thanks for pointing this out!
I SO believe what you have stated. We ARE a disposable society and we need to do what people did in the ’30’s….make do….by using an item in another way or beautifying and enhancing an item. Retail is out…thrift is in! Thank you for your words of wisdom. Well stated words. Sherry
Thank you, Sherry! 🙂