How to Clean House: Ask Yourself This Important Question First

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Yesterday I realized that I’ve developed a really bad habit of letting clutter and dirt pile up. It piles up until one day, I just can’t take it anymore and it becomes a “crisis.”

Well, you know what happens when something is a “crisis”, right? Everything must stop and that crisis becomes the thing that must be fixed and put back into an acceptable state. Once I have fixed the “crisis,” I feel better, proud, accomplished, happy….(insert any ‘ole adjective here that makes one feel better about themselves).

I then go back to my normal routine and the cycle repeats….until that which I have ignored suddenly becomes a “crisis” again and then I spring back into crisis mode to “put out the fire.”

Raise your hand if that’s you, too. Join the club, my friend!

This is so.freaking.exhausting. I do this with everything: cleaning my house…clutter in a corner…too much email in my inbox…laundry (!!)….dirty bathrooms…a messy garage….I could go on and on. Part of me envies Type A personalities that have their stuff together and have color-coded checklists for everything that gets done on Mondays, Fridays, first of the month, last of the month, quarterly, full moon, quarter moon…(my goodness, where did they learn those organizational skills?!). That’s just not my personality. No matter how much I try to organize my life in such a structured way, I just can’t seem to execute that level of scheduled-ness.

The reason I bring all this up is because this week, I put everything on hold to tidy up my home. In other words, you’re now talking to a woman who’s in “crisis mode.” All work projects with deadlines looming got the boot and my house cleaning became priority. I’m so behind on projects that I have sponsors emailing about my “missing assignments.”

I literally couldn’t think with all this clutter crowding my mind. A dirty house stresses me out. If I am stressed, how can I be creative? How can I work on DIY projects when I am walking past discarded piles of mismatched socks littering the laundry room floor? How can I feel relaxed when every time I walk past dirt participles in the corner I wonder, “Are those ants, or is that just dirt?” 

Our home should be our oasis. It should be the place that makes us feel soothed. After living here for 9 years I am finally beginning to love my house (read here about how I used to hate my house) and feel comfortable here. But when the house isn’t clean, it’s impossible to enjoy it.

House Cleaning Crisis Mode

So this week, I had set my alarm for 6 a.m. each morning and made it a priority to clean up just one area of my house that bothered me the most. And when that alarm when off on Monday morning, I felt energized and ready to tackle the clutter. I just wanted it done.

On Tuesday, I added to my calendar “Clean up the laundry room.” This is typically how my laundry room looks: 

 

 

But 2 hours later, with all the laundry was folded, the dust bunnies were banished, I felt light and airy! I was so happy with my progress that I posted it on my Instagram. Accomplished!

 

 

As the week continued, I knocked out more clutter each morning: the foyer, the wicker basket in the kitchen that has become a catch-all for little “doo dads” that no one knows where else to put…and it felt wonderful!

But I also started asking myself, but how do I keep it this way? And how did I let it get like this to begin with? 

And here are the answers that I came up with. Keep reading…

The Real Reason It Gets So Messy (And Why It’s Hard to Clean a Dirty House)

Admit it–it’s easier to swipe up than it is to wipe up. ๐Ÿ™‚ We all know that the first excuse that comes to mind is that life is so “busy.” Yet we have 30 minutes for Instagram. Sixty minutes later we wake from the Facebook fog of scrolling. Actually, all of those little distractions probably take up waaaay more than 90 minutes of our day. So it’s not that we’re “busy.”

It’s because we’re overwhelmed because we think that all tasks are equally important. Everything must be done, and because we’re not sure where to start, it’s easier to keep putting it off.

The reason it’s messy to begin with is because we don’t know have a system for keeping the room clean. Without a system, we keep doing the same things that got us into the cluttered mess to begin with. The solution is that we need a system for keeping our house clean (and believe me, the system we need isn’t color-coded laminated schedules). 

The Magical Rule to Keeping Any Room Clean

This is something I learned over the past year and a half. I learned that the key to keeping a room clean is to simply decide on the ONE thing you’re never going to compromise on in that room. You actually just have to ask this question:

“What’s the one thing that I can do to keep this room clean, such that by doing it, everything else would be easier or unnecessary?”

Let me give you an example.

A couple summers ago, an awesome brand that I worked with was coming to my house with a media guy to shoot a video of me making a fun DIY word light sign out of wood. Dude, my house was dirty. Imagine the stress of having the person who you’re most craving to impress come to your house and you’ve got 1 week to fix the holes in the wall, wipe the kids’ smeared handprints from the wall, and to steam clean your kitchen cabinets.

After all that cleaning (and a successful shoot, I might add) I had gleaming, stress-free counter tops, which was unheard of in my messy house of 5 people. It was that moment that I decided I would never be stressed or embarrassed over a dirty kitchen ever again. 

And I asked myself that most important question:

“What’s the one thing I can do to keep this kitchen clean, such that by doing it, everything else would be easier or unnecessary?”

The big “lightbulb” answer was to never allow a dish to sit in the sink or on the counter.

And with that simple answer, I followed that magical rule day in and day out. Every day for the past 17 months. The minute my family even thinks to leave a dish in the sink, I turned into the dictator of the family, barking orders, “Who left this cup in the sink?! Get down here, clean it, and put it away right now!”

I follow that simple rule every.single.day and I’m happy to say that my kitchen has never once caused me stress from any mess. Oh yeah–we cook dinner, and of course, as we’re cooking, there is a dish or two. But we either wash as we go, or we have our oldest son wash immediately after dinner. There is no leaving the dishes until tomorrow. There is no leaving a plate on the counter after making a sandwich. I won’t allow it. Under no circumstances. Even if the school bus is coming and there’s a cup on the counter–“nope, go rinse that bowl and put I away before we leave!” I’m crazy and consistent about that one rule.

 

 

Why It Works to Stick With One “Cleaning” Rule

There’s a book I absolutely adore called The One Thing by Gary Keller. I discovered this best-selling years ago. The book was life-changing. You see, when we try improve things, we come up with so many solutions, but how do you know which one is going to work? How do you not get overwhelmed by everything you can do, while focusing on just one thing? But by asking that focusing question to find the “one thing” that will make the most impact, you now have got a starting point of making real progress towards a goal.  

So with my kitchen example, I knew that if I just stuck with the one rule “No dishes left in the sink or counter” that the kitchen will feel cleaner, even if there are other things out of place or crumbs on the floor. With the dishes out of the sink, I was more likely to pick up crumbs on the floor. I was more likely to open the mail over the recycling bin instead of leaving it pile up on the counters alongside dirty dishes. All it took was for me to consistently follow that one rule and suddenly, my motivation to do the other things was more instinctual. 

Over time, it has become so habitual to simply wash a dish and put it away that I don’t even think about it. Now, everything has a place and when anything is out of place, habit kicks in and I am like a robot trained to put things back. It’s freakin’ amazing, I have to tell you. 

 

 

One Room at a Time

Don’t try to pick a rule for every room in your house all at once. It’s too much and you’ll find yourself back into the same boat where you’re at now with being overwhelmed. Start with the room in your house that causes you the most anxiety and stress. Become so consistent with your one rule that it becomes a habit. Once it becomes habit and you don’t have to think about it (you just do it without thinking), you can either pick a new rule in that same room, or you can pick a new rule in a different messy space. 

I feel confident in what I’ve been keeping clean in my kitchen that I am now ready to move to my laundry room. In my newly cleaned laundry room, my new “one rule” is: 

“Never leave clean laundry on the table or in the basket.”

Of course, it doesn’t have to take you months to move on to your next “one rule.” You can move faster or slower than I did. But just remember: One rule at a time. Maybe in your bedroom you vow to never leave your bed unmade. Each morning, with a fresh bed, you’re more likely to fold your clothes and put them away. You’re more likely to toss dirty laundry in the basket instead of hanging it on that exercise bike you swore you’d use. See how this works? 

In your craft room, maybe your one rule is to always clean up after crafting. By doing that, you’re more likely to keep the rest of the space tidy. And even better, you’ll be more likely to want to come in and craft again in a clean space!

The Challenge With Having Rules

Well, I’m sure you know where I’m going with this. It’s easy to set a rule for yourself, but what about getting your family on board? It’s been a year and a half and I still have to nag my three boys (ages 13, 10, and 9) to wash their dishes and put them away immediately. They’re learning, and I’m sure soon it will become their habit, too. Just be prepared for lots of nagging, but for a good cause! (Even spouses are slow to get on board sometimes). The benefit is that if you have young kids like I do, hopefully they’ll adopt these rules for themselves when they head out into the world!

You Can Do It!

Believe it–having a dirty house is soooo stressful! But if we just focus on that “one rule” for that space, surprisingly, it works for keeping it clean. I’d love to know how this strategy works for you! Leave a comment below and let me know if this is something you’ve ever tried, or if you have any other tips for how to clean your house! And if you have friends and family that you think could benefit from this little magical tip, save this on Pinterest or share it with them on Facebook!

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30 Comments

  1. Laura E Leifeste says:

    Just one more reason to love you to pieces. My laundry room looks like yours in the before picture. ๐Ÿ˜‚This post is exactly what I need. I will start today with this method. Of course it will take a bit of time to get my house in order. Hugs.

    1. You should see my laundry room I’m sure there are at least 60 loads of laundry on the floor. I don’t know how this happened but I do know it has to be taken care of because walking on a pile of clothing is very dangerous.

    2. Love you too, Laura! ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanks for taking time to read my passion post. LOL. I just had to get it out of my system and see if other people feel the same way I do about clutter and how to banish it. Set your alarm early one morning and decide, “This is the only thing I am going to focus on today.” It’s amazing how when you set everything else aside to tackle it how freeing it is to just let everything else go and just DO it! Good luck and thank you!

  2. Cecilia from Georgia says:

    I learned to never leave home with as much as a spoon dirty in the sink! I hate looking at cluttered spaces so everything is neat and clean until I open a closet๐Ÿ˜ซ! My goal is to clean out closets and cabinets! Priorities need to be set and when I buy a set of dishes I am going to try to get rid of an old set. Itโ€™s hard keeping everything but I gotta do it! Thanks for the inspiration!

    1. I think you and I might be cut from the same cloth, Cecilia! I am the same way! I can NOT walk out and knowingly leave something in the sink. I find that if I let myself slip just once, next time, it will be easy to slip again, until we’re dirty people again. LOL. As for your closets, I will say the same thing I told someone else: set your timer early one morning and make one of your closets your ONLY thing for the weekend! It WILL get done, and with your new rule, it will stay clean. ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Raymond Heer says:

    Serena, The china closet is fabulous. Who knew you could find such s piece with matching toilet seat lids on the face. Good luck whatever your choice of finish. With your taste it will be great.

  4. Serena, I totally just explained this process to my uncle in my own words the other day. He posted on fb that heโ€™s sick of being a messy person and I had to throw my strategy in! My number 1 in the kitchen is the floor. We switched over to disposable dishes a while back because without a dishwasher and a 2 year old and 10 year boys running around, who has time for dishes?! Anyway, I now only have to wash a load of dishes about twice a week and my older boy puts them away. The floor tho…I canโ€™t stand cat food pieces or rice or anything sticking to the bottom of my socks so the kitchen floor must stay swept! In the bathroom, NOBODYโ€™S clothes get to lounge, they go to our own colored hamper immediately. Boys are now sharing a bedroom with bunk beds and the rule is they either use this space for reading or sleeping. NO TOYS IN THIS ROOM AND NO BLANKETS ON THE FLOOR. They now have a designated playroom and the toys need to be picked up at the end of the day. With toys staying in the playroom, the living room and other spaces in the house naturally stay picked up looking. Thanks for the reassurance in your blog that Iโ€™m doing it right!!

  5. China cabinet- how about a lovely blue/ gray with fabric or wall paper on the shelves & back of cabinet?

  6. Ok, i have to say a word about us โ€œType Aโ€ sorts. Scratch thatโ€” Iโ€™ll just say how it is for ME since I canโ€™t jump into anyone elseโ€™s brain. Iโ€™m one of THOSE. I have been known to cancel or be late for something because Iโ€™m so OCD about making sure everything is clean to my impossibly high standards. My friends and family make fun of me and roll their eyes when I insist they donโ€™t walk on any area rugs with their shoes. Yes MOST everything is clean even under and behind things and Yanno what? ITS FREAKING EXHAUSTING!!!!โ€ Itโ€™s stupid! What difference does it REALLY make if a bowl is in the sink or a dust bunny under the bed? I know that I would enjoy life so much more if I didnโ€™t worry about it all so much
    Iโ€™m actually working on this with a therapist. So my point is pretty obvious: the grass isnโ€™t always greener on the other side of the fence. Be glad you arenโ€™t constantly obsessed with how clean everything has to be just for you to leave the house. I donโ€™t think I want my epitaph to read โ€œ She kept a clean houseโ€.
    Btw…….Serena, you rock!!!

  7. Lynn Seda says:

    When I first started reading your blog I thought, “Oh dear. Does Serena do all her housework herself?” I was happy to find out after reading on that you have your family involved too!

  8. This is how I want to start the new year!
    24 and bought my first house with my boyfriend almost exactly a year ago now. It’s a small condo that has great potential to be warm and welcoming but we let it get so m.e.s.s.y!!!! ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธWe are only two TWO people, HOW DO THE DISHES GET SO HIGH IN THE SINK? Clothes in the laundry basket and even in dryer for dayyyyys and we just sit on the couch and say nah just do it later or ignore it! We have time to watch Netflix but don’t do things around the house. Its dirty and unmotivates us to clean. Love your blog and I take this as a sign to destress this year and make our home HOME๐Ÿ’—

  9. Regarding your fabulous China cabinet. I have one very similar. Yours appears to be missing the header. It is far too beautiful to paint! I would not even strip the finish. I would wipe it down with denatured alcohol and then oil it. You just want to clean it up without removing too much patina.

  10. I straighten the kitchen before going to bed. Dishes are in the dishwasher. Counters wiped. With open concept, it really stresses me to wake up to a messy kitchen. My latest rule is nothing left on the furniture in the livingroom area. Getting better with it since the New Year. Also working on keeping the waste baskets empty. Years ago, overwhelmed with school, work and kids, I promised myself we would never run out of toilet paper. Almost 30 years later, I always know how much we have. It gave me a small measure of control in my life.

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