The Nightmare Outdoor Patio Table Makeover

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This isn’t a blog post about an outdoor patio makeover gone wrong.

Rather, it’s about an outdoor patio makeover that was born out of a nightmare that happened to an amazing friend over Spring Break.

Let me explain.

You don’t ever have to ask a mother what her worst nightmare is. If you’re a mom, you already know.

And unfortunately, a member of the Thrift Diving community, who’s been following my projects for years, just experienced her worst nightmare over Spring Break, March 2026.

While on a family vacation, her beautiful 6-year-old son lost his life in a tragic swimming pool accident.

She and I had met months before, sitting down at a local Starbucks, chatting like old girlfriends, despite having just met mere moments before, jumping from topic to topic. 

She’d watched me online wielding tools, flipping furniture, and doing all the DIY things that she wanted to learn to do herself.

It was only when she saw a local “viral” post that I shared on the Nextdoor app about a frustrating roadway issue in my community that she realized, “OMG, I know her! That’s Serena from Thrift Diving! We live a few miles from each other?!”

She reached out and wanted to meet with me.

That fall day at Starbucks she asked to get involved with Thrift Diving in some way–any way–so that she could learn alongside me. I was open to the idea and tucked the incredible offer into my back pocket for a time when projects would get busier in the spring. 

The next time we met, however, we were talking about me making over her old, worn-out outdoor patio table that was on her deck.

The reason was sickening: she needed suitable outdoor seating to welcome friends and family into her home after her son’s memorial service. And there was no way she could (or should) jump elbow deep into a DIY project when she just experienced her worst nightmare.

She asked if I would do the project for her, quickly, and the only answer was, “Of course. This is the least I can do.” 🙁

BEFORE

 

AFTER

 

She had been planning to get to this project at some point, but now, it needed to be done.

It’s something we don’t often think about, do we…..the idea of our homes being ready to welcome guests when tragedy strikes. We think about food–the logistics of feeding people–comfort food as we soothe people through grief–but we rarely consider the logistics of, “Is my house ready and able to welcome people?” or “where are people going to sit?” during tragedies.

BEFORE

 

 

AFTER

 

I arrived at her house that hot spring day, not knowing what I would even say to her and her family, knowing that she was facing her worst nightmare, but I was prepared to help in any way that I could.

I wasn’t prepared, however, to break down crying as I hugged her. 

And I wasn’t prepared for her to soothe my tears. Or to open up so completely about what had happened earlier that week, and what she has been experiencing.

We were practically strangers, logically, (although she’d seen my YouTube videos for years), only having met in person once before, but we were both mothers. And I understood what a mother carries: responsibility, strength, compassion, and so much more, for the entire family. 

While she was grieving, she was also coordinating how to make her home comfortable and presentable to family and friends. As moms, most of it falls on our shoulders. Even in our grief, we still have to coordinate, schedule, care for the other kids, and be the one in charge of managing it all…even the DIY projects.

I knew that if there was just one thing I could do to make her week easier as she navigated her grief, while planning a memorial service and hosting family and friends, it would be doing as good of a job as possible on this table.

BEFORE

 

AFTER

 

Later that day, she drove the 2 miles to my home, back and forth, dropping off the table and chairs. I only had a few days to get it done, but this was going to be a simple DIY project: I needed a pressure washer, sandpaper to smooth out the chipped finish, spray paint (and lots of it), new cushions, and new ceramic tiles to replace the broken/missing tiles in the table.

BEFORE

 

AFTER

 

My Own Son’s Close Call

I had shared with her my oldest son’s own close call in a pool accident when he was 7 years old (I even wrote a blog post about it years ago when it happened).

It’s hard to know if my story offered any solace, (or if my story added to the pain), but I wanted her to know that I understood how in just one moment something can happen.

My son simply leaned over the edge of the pool, reached into 4 ft – 5 ft water for a water gun, and fell in. It was just enough water to cover nearly the top of his head. 

As vigilant as I had been to keep scanning for him (pools made me very leery), it only took a moment. That’s all it ever takes, is just a moment. 

What was most startling was that there were people all around the pool when my son was struggling: adults engaging in conversations, other kids running around and playing. But no one–no one at all–saw my baby struggling. Just me. Quietly flailing his arms, with the water just over his head. There was no way for him to call for help. That’s why it’s called the “silent death.”

Inside I was panicked as he was pulled from the pool, crying. However, I cajoled casually as I towel-dried my son, “Oooh, you’re okaaaaay,” not wanting him to see my panic, for fear that my reaction would leave him fearful of water. But inside, I knew the gravity of what had just happened, what could have been much worse. 

My son cried, “It’s not funny!” No, it wasn’t funny at all. It was my worst nightmare within inches of coming true. And I couldn’t allow my son to see that panic.

I had nightmares about it. To this day, 12 years later, I still shudder to consider what would have happened if I hadn’t spotted him. And to this day, my kids anywhere near water makes me nervous. We recently got back from Bethany Beach, and I wouldn’t allow them to go any further than knee-deep. 

The sad fact is that drowning is the leading cause of death in young children ages 1 year old to 4 years old. It’s the second leading cause of death or injuries to children 5 to 14. (Read more). In fact, it’s estimated that 4,000 fatal unintentional drownings happen every year in the United States.

That’s an average of 11 drownings PER DAY.

That is eleven families whose worst nightmares happen every day. It’s horrific.

Summer is here now, and I wanted to allow this project….her story….my story….to remind everyone about pool safety. I am thankful to my friend for allowing me to share her project, her experience, to remind all of us parents and grandparents: 

• Never leave kids unsupervised around water. Even if they know how to swim. A friend once told me that even though her young son knew how to swim, she once saw him panic and struggle in the water at a pool party and she had to jump in the pool, fully clothed, to help. I know how to swim, as well, but I once panicked in the water and forgot how to swim. Don’t assume because someone knows how to swim they will be able to survive a panicked situation.
• Sign your kids up for swim lessons. Kids ages 1-4 who have swim lessons have an 88% lower risk of drowning. I signed my kids up for swim lessons afterwards. I don’t think they’re very good at it, though. Which is why I am considering teen swim lessons now, as refreshers. 
• Always wear life vests. Don’t let anyone tell you “Oh, your child doesn’t need that.” The homeowner at the pool party told me that the day my son could have drowned. I shouldn’t have listened. Never let someone convince you that the water “isn’t that deep.” Put the life vest on your kids.
• Swim in areas with life guards. Home pools and hotel pools usually don’t have lifeguards. Be extra cautious.
• Teach your kids to never reach for things in the water. This is how my son fell in, reaching for a water gun that floated away. While they may not listen, it’s a good reminder to teach them about pool safety.
• Learn to swim yourself. Parents should know how to swim well enough to jump in and save their child.
• Learn CPR. If there is an accident, you may need to do CPR until help arrives. Which reminds me, it’s been years since I have done a CPR class. Adding that to my “Must Do” list now.
• Don’t ask older siblings to watch younger siblings. Supervision should be from an adult, not a child.
• Never assume someone else is watching your child. I’ve read stories of tragedies where one adult assumed another adult was watching the child. Be clear in communication about who is responsible for keeping eyes on the child at all times.

For more swimming safety tips, read this article.

BEFORE

 

AFTER

 

How Is My Friend Doing Today?

It’s only been just over 3 months since this tragedy happened to my friend. After the memorial service, I gave her time to grieve with her family, but I knew I wanted to reach out and get together with her to check in. 

Plus, she had ordered one of my butterfly journals for her daughter, and I wanted to hand-delivery it to her. She told me that she’s saving it for her daughter’s next birthday. 🙂 (I hope her daughter loves it as much as I do).

We met again just a couple weeks ago at the nearby Starbucks, like two girlfriends who have been chatting for years, going from topic to topic. She was a mom in grief, but she was also one of the strongest women I have ever met. 

She told me that she is making over her bedroom now, creating a sanctuary for herself, putting her grief into something that is going to make her feel good about herself and her home. She lit up as she talked about her creative ideas for storage in her bedroom, along with the wood panels she was adorning on the walls. 

I felt proud of her as she named her grief, acknowledged it, confessed it, yet had chosen to do something that would fulfill her instead of allowing the grief to consume her.

As we hugged to say our goodbyes, with promises of getting together to try a new restaurant for our next get-together, I wanted to tell her, “Hey….I’m really proud of you.” I don’t know if that’s an appropriate response to a grieving mother, but I’m proud of her for working to find her way back to herself…proud of her for not giving up when she could have…for carrying the heaviness with her as a new passenger on the other side of this life, yet not allowing it to make her immobile in its weight.

I feel honored that she had reached out to ask for my help during the hardest time in her life, and that I was able to take one thing off her plate during her time of need.

It’s a good reminder for all of us that, while we may not be able to offer solace, give money, rewind time, or remove pain, we can still show up to lend a helping hand–whether it’s spray painting a table, cutting a lawn, or refinishing a beloved piece of furniture. We can all do something.

Tell everyone you loved this post! :)